1. Got hit by a car as a pedestrian
2. Got sexually harassed on the subway
#1 is old news.
#2 happened last week. I didn't really think that this would ever happen to me as I couldn't really figure out how someone could get away with it. Tokyo's subway system has specific train cars dedicated for women, so that they can ride without fear of being groped. I thought, that's nice, but how is it so necessary? How are men getting away with it?
Well, let me tell you how. Coincidentally and logically, it happened to be a horrible day for the subway. It was raining, hot, and humid outside, and the subway station was even worse. The trains were running WAY behind, so much so that I missed 3 trains because there were too many people trying to get on. One can typically get on the first or 2nd train that comes by. I was getting more annoyed by the minute as I melted away in that subway station. Finally, I got on a train, but everyone was packed like sardines, and I was pushed up against the railing of one of the benches. There was more pushing and shoving as people tried to squeeze in, but still, this is all normal.
The doors closed and the train took off. I felt this slow push from my left side, which I thought might have been some reshuffling. I looked over, and the guy next to me was this short, old, Asian man with glasses. I thought, huh, how could it be. He was so innocuous looking. The ride continued, and these pushes became even stronger and more consistent, I could feel him on my leg, and I really knew by then that it wasn't train movement or people shuffling around. I've ridden in plenty of crowded subway cars by now to know. I thought, is this really happening? I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he was really building the case against himself as the pressing continued, despite the elbow I put up to fend him off. Unfortunately, with him being short and having a gut, my elbow was too high on him to force him off.
The train came to it's first stop, and the pressing happened AGAIN. OKAY, THAT'S IT. THERE IS NO WAY THAT THIS IS TRAIN MOVEMENT, AND THERE IS NO WAY THIS GUY IS GETTING AWAY WITH THIS. So I loudly told him to BACK OFF, and everybody in the train looked over. I wanted to say so much more, but I was saving it so that I could get off the train after I delivered my rant. The guy DID back off, and when we made the next stop, he got off. He got off early - I could tell it was a last minute decision because people in back of him made the move to get off first, and then he followed them. NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I wanted to tell him he was a dirty little bastard and that he should be ashamed of himself and then I wanted to report him! But he shimmied himself out of that train car and I was stuck in the back!
I was so angry that I let him press himself up against me for one stop, and that I didn't get to put him in his place. HE GOT AWAY WITH IT. At least he was somewhat outed on the train, but he deserved so much worse. I was most angry that HE GOT AWAY WITH IT. Why? Because I didn't trust my instinct. I knew what was going on, but perverse people like that take advantage of regular strangers who have good faith in other people.
Women of New York City, please please TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!!
I took my anger out on the punching bags at the gym.
The next morning, I read an article in the the high quality, free, AM New York newspaper (note the sarcasm here) about this serial groper going around the upper east side. The article started with saying that sexual harassment on the subways was sort of like a hazing rite for women. Really? I was rather upset by this, since again, I thought WHY DO MEN THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT? And this article almost made it seem like an everyday, trivial occurrence.
I tried to find some stats. A Nov 15, 2009 report stated that there were 587 complaints and 412 arrests of sexual harassment that year, a 4% increase since the previous year. That's slightly over 1.5 complaints a day, and it's bound to be higher if you include unreported cases like mine. Let's call it 3 cases of sexual harassment a day.
What does that mean exactly? Let's equate it to petty theft. 3 cases of petty theft per day. According to the MTA, the average weekday ridership is 5.2 million people, or 20,000 people per weekday day. 3 cases per 20,000 people doesn't seem to be very much when you equate sexual harassment to something like petty theft. I would not call it a common occurrence, nor is it in any way acceptable, and definitely should not be called a hazing rite!
In my mind sexual harassment is so much worse than petty theft because theft occurs because people are in need. Sexual harassment occurs because people are perverted and somehow think they can forcibly get off on you without you having a say in it. It is an invasion of a person's being, and there doesn't even have to be physical contact for that to happen.
By now, I've pretty much rambled myself into oblivion, but what I really want to do is have this be a PSA announcement.
A crowded subway is never an excuse for sexual misconduct!
Trust your instincts! You know when you're being taken advantage of!
