good TV night

On top of getting a tattoo on the show, crazy man Kasey on The Bachelorette delivers the most ridiculous lines I've ever heard.

• "I want to guard and protect your heart." (It gets old and gross after he says it about 1000 times.)
• "I’ll be able to show her my tattoo… then I’ll be able to see her heart, and she’ll be able to see mine."
• "It’s definitely easy to write something from the heart to a woman like Ali. I’m very excited for her to hear my heart and to hear my words, and to put them together so that I can make her smile."
• "I got this tattoo to be someone. To be a man for Ali. To be a man for that woman."
• "I’m a dreamer. I’m a believer. I love to love. I love to give. I love to share."

I want to throw up with all the cheese.

Then I watched Glee, where in stark contrast, Sue Sylvester delivers these types of lines. Of course, she has professional writers, but goodness, are they good.

• "For me, trophies are like herpes. You try to get rid of them, but they just keep coming. You know why? Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent."
• "That’s what they said about a young main in Chicago in 1871, who thought he’d play a harmless prank on a dairy cow of one, Mrs. O’Leary. He successfully ignited its flatulence and the city burned, William. That young terrorist went on to become the first gay president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln."