born to run?

I have never loved running.  It's an activity I do to stay in shape, but I'd really rather be doing something else.  I have always been an active person.  I grew up playing sports and haven't ever really stopped.  I have fun, feel healthy, meet people, and build friendships.  Along the way, running has interspersed itself in my fitness life, but am I born to run?

After high school, when I would have practice 5 days a week for 3 hours a day, it was clear that I couldn't JUST play sports to stay in shape anymore.  SAD.  I gained my freshman 10-15 in college (really have no idea how many) and decided it was time to start using the gym to supplement my intramural sports games.  This was also the time when I started to run for exercise.  I didn't like it.  I stuck to 1-2 mile runs, and on occasion, when the guy I liked wanted to run, I'd do the 3 miles.  Berkeley is hilly too - torture.

When I went to UMich, it was the same deal.  I got involved in intramural sports (by this time, it was the old student league, couldn't hang with the undergrads) and also had a great group of people who also liked to get together to play basketball, volleyball, or football, and well, an occasional old person's Field Day (water balloon toss, kickball, 3-legged race, etc).  Winter wasn't too conducive to all the outdoor activity though, so again, I had to resort to running... indoors, at the gym, around a track that was something like 1/10 mile, in a circle, over and over again.  I tried to entertain myself with music and by speeding up on the banked corners, which would whip me around.

This is also when I ran my first real race.  The graduate department wanted to encourage fitness, so they paid all grad students' entry fees for the Ann Arbor-Dexter 5K Run.  I almost died.  Kids, middle-aged, and even seniors passed me on the last hill.  It's what kept me going - the humiliation.  However, I did see some of the appeal when I finished - there was a lot of cheering at the end and lots of free food and drinks.  Festivities!

I once had a bad day and ran 5 miles.  That was the farthest I had ever run.  I was pretty proud of myself, but I never did it again.  It was the stars aligning that made me do it.

It was a challenge after first moving to NYC and out of the academic environment.  I joined some adult sports leagues, but I couldn't seem to find a fun group.  I refused to join a gym because gyms are so depressing to me.  I like being outdoors and don't see the point in getting on a machine to get your body to move yet stay in one spot at the same time.  I had also never paid for a gym membership and couldn't fathom adding that to my list of bills.  I fortunately found a fabulous running buddy, who motivated me to run even in the dead of winter and summer.  Sometimes we even ran in the MORNINGS BEFORE WORK.  Wuut?  I became one of those people?  We had fun hanging out and running, but still it wasn't my favorite way to exercise.  I did get somewhat used to it, extending my range from 1-2 miles to more like ~3 miles.

Then she moved away.  :(

Then I joined the gym. :(

It's okay, I think I'm stronger now since I have what P likes to call my "guns class," aka, a weights class.  Good for bone health.  I'm okay with that.  And there's someone there to tell me what to do so I don't have to think about it.

Earlier this month, my friend W proposed that we run a 10K race at the Lobster Festival.  I agreed since it's fun to do these things together and it's a good balance to all the lobster I was expecting to eat.  So P and I got to training.  By this time, post oppressive summer heat, I had fallen off the wagon and had to get my mind prepared. During our short training session leading up to the race, I completed 2 5-mile runs in 2 weeks.  A record frequency for me!  I felt pretty prepared for the 10K, and when the race came around, I was proud that I completed the longest distance I have ever run!

I hadn't been to my guns classes in awhile for various scheduling reasons, but when I went after the race, everything was easier!  My arms were stronger, my core was stronger.  It was surprising and amazing!  All from running?  It was really exciting... but encouraging?  I'm still not sure.  I told my friend all the benefits that I was observing from my running, and when he asked me if I was going to continue, I said probably not.  He pointed out to me that that sounded silly, and well, I agree.

Running is a mental game for me more than a physical one.  It's the boredom, which allows me to focus on the run and how horrible I'm feeling.  I notice that I'm usually very good on the first half.  I'm mentally prepared for the long road ahead.  But then I cross the half-way mark, and I start to falter.  I can feel the end coming, and I just want it to be NOW.  I negotiate with myself, "okay, I can start walking after I get to the bottom of the hill...", "I can just walk a little bit, and then I'll start right up again...."  It's when the negotiations start up that I know I'm hurting.  My question is, why put myself through so much torture?  I believe I can be runner, I believe in the benefits, but it's just not FUN.  You know what's fun?  Finishing the run and getting to walk!  Okay, the satisfying feeling of just having completed the run is also nice.  Is the end result what people like, or do people actually like the activity of running?

I'm on the waitlist for Born to Run from the library.  I'm hoping that that will give me some insight.