BATHROOM DIARIES

This past weekend I was at Live at PJ's, which is supposed to be a place for live music, but a DJ was spinning instead. Perhaps they thought that the drunk people of St. Patrick's day wouldn't be in any condition to appreciate live music. Anyway, as the title suggests, I had to pay a visit to the bathroom, where I found both stalls taken. I'm pretty full (meaning I was at an 8 on a scale of 1-10, where 10 is I can't stand up straight, and if I do, I will pee in my pants) so this situation is kind of dire. These two girls taking both stalls are drunk out of their minds. Conversation is like this:

Stall 1: Billy is worried about you... are you okay?
Stall 2: umm... I'm pRetttty druuuunk, but I'm okay...
Stall 1: Okay.

**Silence for ~30 s**
I'm wondering what the hell they're doing that they can't come out and let a girl do her business in under 45 seconds.

**BIG RELEASE (waterfall type) from Stall 1**
Lasts for ~15 seconds. Really quite impressed, and am thinking that she deserved her lengthy bathroom time.

**Silence for 1 minute**
Wipe and go damnit!! Wipe and go!

Stall 1: WOAH.
Stall 2: What?
Stall 1: I just realized I'm reeeaaally drunk.
Stall 2: Are you okaaay?
Stall 1: Yeah, I'm okaaaay.

Stall 1 door opens. Girl stumbles out, wavering from side to side. She gets to the sink, which is 5 feet away in 10 steps. Oh thank you! I rush over, and hesitate at the stall door. My feet are dancing a little bit, not sure whether or not to take another step. Why? WHY you ask? Because [WARNING: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION] there is pee all over the toilet seat cover ALL OVER and a ring of pee around the toilet on the floor. Splatter all over the place. Ah! Ah! Ah! "Eeeew" I say out loud, turn around, and bolt out the door. I'm not worried about embarrassing Stall #1.

Last night was a night out for the Karaoke Club (aka KC). We went to this Irish bar (yeah, the Irish bar does Karoake on Sundays and also plays pop music too), and played this game where we pick songs for each other, and the person doesn't find out what she's singing until she gets up there, and the song title pops up on the screen. Now, this isn't meant to be vicious-- we're nice and don't try to screw each other. We try to pick songs that we think the other person will know. Let me tell you, it was exhilarating! I was so excited to stand up there, and not know what the heck I was about to sing, and excited to see what my friend picked for me! My mystery song ended up being Collide by Howie Day, which my friends know is probably the only song I know on guitar by heart. It was however, a bit challenging because it's out of my range, so I sang an octave up, but I had to go back and forth, and it wasn't always pretty. I also sang Downtown and I Kissed a Girl by Jill Sobule. I was also excited to have my friend sing Blackbird-- it was great b/c I could pick anything and she would be able to sing it. She's a superstar!

I used to be deathly afraid of singing a song that I didn't know very well, much less get up on stage about to sing a mystery song. However, after my first karaoke (on a stage) experience, I realized that it's okay to make things up. I sang RESPECT by Aretha Franklin, and realized after a few verses, that I only really knew the chorus. So I just stood up there, like a fool, like a fool! skipping lines b/c I didn't know how Aretha sang it. Well, now I just sing through it, talk through it, whatever. Of course I prefer to sing a song that I know (it's not always fun to look like a fool), but it's fun to be spontaneous with karoke!